3 poems: Consigned to loneliness, To revoke this body heat, He disappoints and it’s everything.
Consigned to loneliness
Consigned to loneliness
fisting a bag of food I’ve packed
clutching it like a purse
the exchange is the smell of nausea
keeping me
not longing
not reaching out
just the turn of a stomach
and the stench sticks
others can smell it
How will you be a good host now?
Who will eat your food?
To consume is to share,
to be consumed is to wait
to be consumed is to starve.
April 3rd, 2025
To revoke this body heat
I look at her and I hope she remains untouchable
The girl you yearn for but reach for me
Because I’m closer
You plan a trip to the beach
But you don’t stop to get a parasol
And you get sunburnt
What an inconvenience I am
On your skin,
I beg you to put on ointment but you say
You have many creams in your drawer
Your skin peels
And your hands are rough but
Do you ever grow soft for me?
You ask me not to expect much of you
What a way to revoke
How will I touch myself now?
As a kid I used to dance to the tv screen in the morning
Volume on low as to not wake anyone up
Careful when I fold my skirts
Not to make the drawer rattle
I don’t know what is more painful
To be seen and not loved
Or not to be seen at all
I’m used to silences like long hallways
Like sounds from a tv
In love with idleness, both of us
This is why it won’t work out
Better the observer than the lover
Did I talk your ear off or did you like getting to know me?
Buy some time on the road
Speed through the highway at the chance of catching hr with you
Slow down the car when I drop you off
My hands brush
But maybe they’re soggy
I want you, I think you know that
May 11, 2025
He disappoints, and it’s everything
His knees are shelter to his head
Rocks left and right
Swing to sound somewhere he is
Eyes sharp does he know what he’s looking at
I gesture
I meet his gaze
I shrug
He’s firm and has a brief smile it’s everything
I could bite his cheek when it curves up
It’s nice to look at someone’s back
Get their shape right in case your eye craves for them
When proximity is an issue
I have questions to ask him and they all feel important
I hand them to him in palm
It’s up to him now to make conversation
He disappoints and it’s everything
I can’t have my way
I promise he’ll never see me during the day
And he says I can’t trust what he says at night
It’s up to him now to make conversation
He disappoints and it’s everything
We read things twice to eachother
Before the cut off
When there is a lot of words and they spill
We see eachother instantly to sift
I wish I were somewhere off kissing him
And another week passes
It’s been a month or so of promise
He turns to me and whispers
This is our listening session
Long overdue I begged him previously
And all meaning fell
But then he turned to me
And whispered
This is our listening session
It’s up to him now to make conversation
He disappoints and it’s everything
May 11, 2025
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