these lines have been collected between January and March 2024
the secret tradeoff
I don’t know if people know about the desire kept at heart. (confession)
People don’t know about the desire kept at heart. (secret reveal)
Silence comes mid words
Tip of your tongue tingles//
They stare you look
you look away
you itch to glance back//
don’t portion
dish love out
am I the only one pulsating here?
…
Go to the sea in winter
It will spell out grey in all its colors for you
When the sky and the earth convulge (convulse + deluge)
And they will, it won’t be a heavenly turbulence
It will be a moody winter day
When I don’t want to know you.
When I can only wish for mercy in how you look back,
In how you remember me
like seasonal fruit in the garbage bins I walk past
the whiff of clementine peels
a song for a long winter
close your eyes at night
if you don’t they will sprout flowers
and I want one of each
to decorate my hours
wake your body up
if you don’t you’ll misplace it
lose it for days and days
to conjure it back with a prayer
remind yourself not to get sick
but memory is fickle
and forgetting is reckless
I’m sorry for the time I forgot
im sorry im sorry im sorry
love in time of death
you tug at my lips with your teeth
and I never thought I could be eaten
the world consumes me whole
and I don’t know how to use a knife
but everything is bitten into pieces.
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